Water sits
Thinking
In a cup.
Feeling the walls, the
Boundaries,
Tasting the air,
A true shape-shifter.
I tilt the cup,
It comes to greet me,
Sliding down my throat.
Cool, soft, light, I
Appreciate the friendship.
And the sustenance.
And some say:
It is "only" water.
Only water? I ask.
Then you have yet to meet it
On equal terms.
To know another, you must first
Know yourself, and what
You need.
Only water?
Yes, it is only water.
And being so,
Its value is infinite.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Healing the sick
You know what, I'm gonna throw something else out there. Why the heck doesn't G-d just heal the sick and be done with it?
I'm sure I'm not alone when I say this, but I'm tired of praying so hard for someone's health and well-being and nothing, the illness just keeps taking more and more of him. What the f*ck? It would be so easy for G-d to slow down its progress, do something, even just make breathing a little easier, life a little brighter. And I'm not even family, so if He doesn't want to listen to me, at least He could listen to the man's family. And no one even has to know it was G-d who helped, it could just be deemed a medical miracle or a minor improvement. Any improvement is better than nothing.
And I know prayer is not so much for G-d's benefit, but rather a kind of gift to help us improve our own characters and reason out our problems on our own...but why the heck can't it mean something more for once? How am I supposed to believe in a G-d that has intervened in past history, but who no longer cares enough to heal suffering people in the present, even just in small ways? In a G-d who doesn't prevent genocide, who allows the Holocaust, who allows Darfur, who allows massacres and meaningless destruction?
I know humans have free will, and thus the ability to choose good or bad and therefore control our own lives and actions (to some extent). And I do believe that bad events can result from bad human decisions or just from fate, chance, whatever you want to call it. There are indeed many things that we cannot explain and cannot understand -- the suffering of innocent victims is definitely one of these things. But I still do not understand why a compassionate G-d does not seem to listen to our most deeply felt prayers and supplications on behalf of others. How can He not feel? How can He not care? Or perhaps He does feel, but also feels powerless to intervene, but how then, can He be G-d, capable of anything? Or perhaps this is just an anomaly I will never understand, something completely beyond the realm of human comprehension. Perhaps this is so, but I'm not happy with that answer.
It is true that illness and natural disasters can unite us in ways nothing else can, and can emphasize quite clearly what's really important in life. But for what price? How many innocent lives are taken in the process? These things cannot be justified, just as I can find no human justification for G-d's apparent indifference to such matters. Then again, I am not G-d so I cannot know the why...but I'm still not happy about it.
I'm sure I'm not alone when I say this, but I'm tired of praying so hard for someone's health and well-being and nothing, the illness just keeps taking more and more of him. What the f*ck? It would be so easy for G-d to slow down its progress, do something, even just make breathing a little easier, life a little brighter. And I'm not even family, so if He doesn't want to listen to me, at least He could listen to the man's family. And no one even has to know it was G-d who helped, it could just be deemed a medical miracle or a minor improvement. Any improvement is better than nothing.
And I know prayer is not so much for G-d's benefit, but rather a kind of gift to help us improve our own characters and reason out our problems on our own...but why the heck can't it mean something more for once? How am I supposed to believe in a G-d that has intervened in past history, but who no longer cares enough to heal suffering people in the present, even just in small ways? In a G-d who doesn't prevent genocide, who allows the Holocaust, who allows Darfur, who allows massacres and meaningless destruction?
I know humans have free will, and thus the ability to choose good or bad and therefore control our own lives and actions (to some extent). And I do believe that bad events can result from bad human decisions or just from fate, chance, whatever you want to call it. There are indeed many things that we cannot explain and cannot understand -- the suffering of innocent victims is definitely one of these things. But I still do not understand why a compassionate G-d does not seem to listen to our most deeply felt prayers and supplications on behalf of others. How can He not feel? How can He not care? Or perhaps He does feel, but also feels powerless to intervene, but how then, can He be G-d, capable of anything? Or perhaps this is just an anomaly I will never understand, something completely beyond the realm of human comprehension. Perhaps this is so, but I'm not happy with that answer.
It is true that illness and natural disasters can unite us in ways nothing else can, and can emphasize quite clearly what's really important in life. But for what price? How many innocent lives are taken in the process? These things cannot be justified, just as I can find no human justification for G-d's apparent indifference to such matters. Then again, I am not G-d so I cannot know the why...but I'm still not happy about it.
Racing through life...or not?
Hey guys, I want to apologize if I sometimes come off as self-righteous, while the world and its evil forces conspire against me :) I don't want to be self-centered, but life is about striking a balance between caring for yourself and caring for others. Self-confidence is very important, and I need more of that, so sometimes I may over compensate and appear self-centered and I'm sorry. And you know, no one is perfect, nor should we be. Our faults and challenges are what make us human, and make us more than just animals. We can grow, not just physically, but spiritually, emotionally, and in many other ways as well. It is these challenges and our response to them that truly make up our life, so don't get discouraged if things get rough sometimes. Often, it is in the times of greatest struggle and hardship that we can determine who we really are...and it is in these times that we are given the greatest chance to change. How we respond and how (and if) we change are up to us.
And as long as you don't give up, you'll get there in the end. Life isn't a race, I mean, we don't even know where the finish line is. But that's good, cuz in not knowing, we can focus more on enjoying the now, taking time to realize what's really important. Even if it means slowing down, not worrying about how fast others are racing through life, and what they would do differently if they were us (which they are often more than happy to share with us ;). We must find our own rhythm, our own purpose, run our own race. Because in the end, everyone crosses the finish line alone, but those who run the best race have the most fans cheering for them. It's not the time you run that matters, it's what you DO with that time. :-)
And as long as you don't give up, you'll get there in the end. Life isn't a race, I mean, we don't even know where the finish line is. But that's good, cuz in not knowing, we can focus more on enjoying the now, taking time to realize what's really important. Even if it means slowing down, not worrying about how fast others are racing through life, and what they would do differently if they were us (which they are often more than happy to share with us ;). We must find our own rhythm, our own purpose, run our own race. Because in the end, everyone crosses the finish line alone, but those who run the best race have the most fans cheering for them. It's not the time you run that matters, it's what you DO with that time. :-)
Monday, December 14, 2009
Floor surfing!
Hey guys, I'm bored, wanna hear a story? So I'm walking into the mall, not paying much attention, and then I get the highlight of my entire week: FLOOR SURFING!!!!! Yes, it was wet outside, but did I have any idea that my shoes could invent an entire new sport all by themselves? No, and not knowing made it that much more fun. I stepped inside and whooosh, there I went gliding effortlessly across the tile floor while millions of shoppers stared in amazement and awe. Ok, maybe it wasn't quite like that, but it sure felt like it. Wasn't expecting it, but I went with it (and tried not to fall) and ended up with a huge smile on my face. It just goes to show that the little things can mean a lot, and your attitude means everything. Plus, the fact that I did in fact not fall probably helped a bit, but that's beside the point ;) Oh, and I highly recommend that everyone should have this experience at least once. You could even try my favorite variation: SOCK SURFING in the kitchen! Yes, I do this at least several times a week, and yes, it is awesome! Please try it, just once, just for me :-)
--Ahhh, I just realized that I didn't tell you guys how to sock surf. Just wear some socks (with other clothing too, if you want :) and run 1 - 2 steps, then sliiiiide! With your arms out, surfer-style. It feels great and makes dogs go crazy. Cats, however, might just sit there and lick themselves, but you know how cool it is so it matters not. And anyway, there's a reason dogs are your best friend, and cats have a large end. Sorry, couldn't resist!
--Ahhh, I just realized that I didn't tell you guys how to sock surf. Just wear some socks (with other clothing too, if you want :) and run 1 - 2 steps, then sliiiiide! With your arms out, surfer-style. It feels great and makes dogs go crazy. Cats, however, might just sit there and lick themselves, but you know how cool it is so it matters not. And anyway, there's a reason dogs are your best friend, and cats have a large end. Sorry, couldn't resist!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Ode to Peanut Butter
Peanut butter is my mother
Cuz it loves me in my tummy
And a little bit of honey
Makes the whole day turn out sunny.
--Ok, so it's not really an ode, but who cares! And no, I'm not crazy (all the time), it's just fun to be silly. I challenge all of you to sit down (or stand) and write four lines of whatever comes to mind. Rhymes are always good (but not necessary), and the sillier the better. Just see how you feel afterwards...better?!? Told you :-)
Cuz it loves me in my tummy
And a little bit of honey
Makes the whole day turn out sunny.
--Ok, so it's not really an ode, but who cares! And no, I'm not crazy (all the time), it's just fun to be silly. I challenge all of you to sit down (or stand) and write four lines of whatever comes to mind. Rhymes are always good (but not necessary), and the sillier the better. Just see how you feel afterwards...better?!? Told you :-)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
A tale of a tough world
I wake up
Thank G-d
Jump into the world.
Sometimes
I admit
The world seems too much
Or my head too small
Too fragile
Too painful.
It aches, it burns,
Tears rising,
Sorrow
So deep
It’s almost existential.
I opened my heart
For you
You were there...
Where did you go?
Why?
But you’re still in my heart
Sometimes that’s not enough
But there you’ll stay.
Some day I’ll tell you
What you mean to me
Hiding nothing.
You think I have already --
No. But I will
Someday.
When life gives lemons,
Make lemonade, they say.
I’ll make sparkling grape juice
And say Kiddush!
Why not?
Life is what we believe it to be,
And this we can control.
And when the going gets tough,
I think of you
And of my hero –
My only true hero.
Not in my family,
But many miles away.
Fighting,
Loving,
Demanding each breath
Letting his soul fly
Even if his body cannot.
This is inspiration
This gives me strength,
For often my body can fly,
While my soul cannot.
And I pray for him
Beg for him
Cry for him
But I fear I cannot help him
Not in the way I wish.
But I can still try...
And G-d and I argue about this all the time.
However, heroes are never forgotten.
This is their most beautiful legacy.
Thank G-d
Jump into the world.
Sometimes
I admit
The world seems too much
Or my head too small
Too fragile
Too painful.
It aches, it burns,
Tears rising,
Sorrow
So deep
It’s almost existential.
I opened my heart
For you
You were there...
Where did you go?
Why?
But you’re still in my heart
Sometimes that’s not enough
But there you’ll stay.
Some day I’ll tell you
What you mean to me
Hiding nothing.
You think I have already --
No. But I will
Someday.
When life gives lemons,
Make lemonade, they say.
I’ll make sparkling grape juice
And say Kiddush!
Why not?
Life is what we believe it to be,
And this we can control.
And when the going gets tough,
I think of you
And of my hero –
My only true hero.
Not in my family,
But many miles away.
Fighting,
Loving,
Demanding each breath
Letting his soul fly
Even if his body cannot.
This is inspiration
This gives me strength,
For often my body can fly,
While my soul cannot.
And I pray for him
Beg for him
Cry for him
But I fear I cannot help him
Not in the way I wish.
But I can still try...
And G-d and I argue about this all the time.
However, heroes are never forgotten.
This is their most beautiful legacy.
Why do bad things happen? (for a hero of mine, whether or not he knows it)
Bad things sometimes happen
And we know not the reason.
Was it me,
Was it you,
Or perhaps the will of G-d?
No.
The world was built on good,
And thus bad was created,
Unavoidably,
In that eternal instant.
Not as an afterthought,
But as an inescapable consequence.
For good, as G-d, can only be fully defined
By what it is not.
Free will can result in
Bad choices and bad happenings.
So can fate.
There is no reason, no
Answer, no human explanation for
Such inescapable suffering.
No wrong was committed.
No message was intended.
Sometimes bad things just are.
But this is how true heroes are born.
Not as a test, or a necessary
Consequence of tragic fate,
But rather as a result of the
True beauty, courage, and
Power of one human soul.
Choosing hope.
And goodness.
Even in the face of tragedy.
And we know not the reason.
Was it me,
Was it you,
Or perhaps the will of G-d?
No.
The world was built on good,
And thus bad was created,
Unavoidably,
In that eternal instant.
Not as an afterthought,
But as an inescapable consequence.
For good, as G-d, can only be fully defined
By what it is not.
Free will can result in
Bad choices and bad happenings.
So can fate.
There is no reason, no
Answer, no human explanation for
Such inescapable suffering.
No wrong was committed.
No message was intended.
Sometimes bad things just are.
But this is how true heroes are born.
Not as a test, or a necessary
Consequence of tragic fate,
But rather as a result of the
True beauty, courage, and
Power of one human soul.
Choosing hope.
And goodness.
Even in the face of tragedy.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
A Starbucks Story
Haha, this is completely random but since I can't tell you guys about it in person, I'm gonna write it down here. And hey, random stuff is the coolest, right? ;)
-------
~ 4 PM at Starbucks
So, I'm waiting at the Starbucks counter and the barista calls out 'Triple Shot Americano'. Here's what ensues:
Me: (thinking to myself) Oh, poor fool who ordered that. They're gonna be going crazy...I hope they don't drink it too fast.
--[a few seconds later]: (thinking) "Uh oh, I ordered an Americano...that's an Americano,...but I only wanted 2 shots."
[meanwhile the drink sits there, looking intimidating]
Friendly Girl Next to Me: [soft chuckle]
I look over to see her glancing at the drink, then at her boyfriend, then at me...with sympathy in her eyes.
Me: Oh no! Is that an Americano?
Friendly Girl: Yes, and it's not mine. (smiling)
Me: Oh NO! I only ordered 2 shots, I'll have to talk to them.
[the drink still sits there, G-d, has it GROWN???]
Me: Excuse me, is this a triple shot Americano?
Barista: Yes.
Me: Umm, well, I only wanted one extra shot. (note: this is the first time I've ever wanted an extra shot...and it might be the last ;)
Barista: It comes with two*, so that IS one extra shot. Three shots.
Me: Oh, oh...oh...ok. (thinking to myself: "Oh Dear G-d!" and then "This is gonna be Funn!")
*[Side note: Tall Americanos have never come with 2 shots before, I think this one did that just to spite me...]
Me: (to Friendly Girl) Oh gosh... (eyeing cup warily)
Friendly Girl: (laughs) You're gonna be BOUNCING for DAYS!
Me: This better last me for days!...You guys wanna share, I'll ask for an extra cup?
Friendly Girl (and her boyfriend, by default): No thanks, have FUN!
Me: Thanks, I will!
I gingerly pick up the cup of power amidst friendly laughs and many sympathetic and admiring stares.
And SCENE! (true story, by the way)
And an early Gud Shabbes and Happy Weekend to everybody. Watch out for that Starbucks coffee :)
-------
~ 4 PM at Starbucks
So, I'm waiting at the Starbucks counter and the barista calls out 'Triple Shot Americano'. Here's what ensues:
Me: (thinking to myself) Oh, poor fool who ordered that. They're gonna be going crazy...I hope they don't drink it too fast.
--[a few seconds later]: (thinking) "Uh oh, I ordered an Americano...that's an Americano,...but I only wanted 2 shots."
[meanwhile the drink sits there, looking intimidating]
Friendly Girl Next to Me: [soft chuckle]
I look over to see her glancing at the drink, then at her boyfriend, then at me...with sympathy in her eyes.
Me: Oh no! Is that an Americano?
Friendly Girl: Yes, and it's not mine. (smiling)
Me: Oh NO! I only ordered 2 shots, I'll have to talk to them.
[the drink still sits there, G-d, has it GROWN???]
Me: Excuse me, is this a triple shot Americano?
Barista: Yes.
Me: Umm, well, I only wanted one extra shot. (note: this is the first time I've ever wanted an extra shot...and it might be the last ;)
Barista: It comes with two*, so that IS one extra shot. Three shots.
Me: Oh, oh...oh...ok. (thinking to myself: "Oh Dear G-d!" and then "This is gonna be Funn!")
*[Side note: Tall Americanos have never come with 2 shots before, I think this one did that just to spite me...]
Me: (to Friendly Girl) Oh gosh... (eyeing cup warily)
Friendly Girl: (laughs) You're gonna be BOUNCING for DAYS!
Me: This better last me for days!...You guys wanna share, I'll ask for an extra cup?
Friendly Girl (and her boyfriend, by default): No thanks, have FUN!
Me: Thanks, I will!
I gingerly pick up the cup of power amidst friendly laughs and many sympathetic and admiring stares.
And SCENE! (true story, by the way)
And an early Gud Shabbes and Happy Weekend to everybody. Watch out for that Starbucks coffee :)
Monday, November 30, 2009
So how do we deal with this thing called War?
Ok, first off, I do acknowledge that war is sometimes unavoidable, as much as I hate to say that. Hopefully one day in the future, this sad fact will no longer be true... And I do recognize the bravery of the soldiers who fight for peace and protection of one's homeland and the sacred human rights of all individuals, this is a very patriotic and honorable act and I see it as such.
However, what if I was to suggest that you can be just as patriotic, honorable, and courageous fighting for peace (and for your country) off the battlefield? Many interpersonal conflicts arise out of a lack of true understanding, education, and appreciation of the 'other'. What if your actions, interfaith dialogue, intercultural dialogue, and interest in bettering the human condition on all sides (not just your own), what if these things prevented a war in the first place? Even if just one war, in just one region of the globe; for good -- like evil-- has a way of multiplying rapidly. Even in Israel and the Palestinian territories, for example, the majority of 'regular' Israelis and Palestinians just want peace. Period.
If serving one's country on the battlefield is honorable, how much more so preempting the need for loss of life in the first place? And this can only be achieved by bettering the human condition and making lives better on both sides. Fighting for the hearts of both your own people and the civilian opposition, for what we have in common is far more than the few little things that make us different.
Now, if only more military leaders and right wing activists would hold my view. Hmmm...perhaps if I sent them a basket of cheese and wine, with an envelope saying "Please open me when you're feeling sufficiently happy". My ideas would be inside, of course ;) Or perhaps I should rent them a Big Bounce. How can you be upset or angry on a Big Bounce? Better yet, I should get the leaders from both sides of a conflict together for a Bouncy talk/"play date" or an afternoon at Disney World, and they'd end up laughing so much they'd shake hands afterwards and work out their differences. I wish...may it be soon, in our time!
However, what if I was to suggest that you can be just as patriotic, honorable, and courageous fighting for peace (and for your country) off the battlefield? Many interpersonal conflicts arise out of a lack of true understanding, education, and appreciation of the 'other'. What if your actions, interfaith dialogue, intercultural dialogue, and interest in bettering the human condition on all sides (not just your own), what if these things prevented a war in the first place? Even if just one war, in just one region of the globe; for good -- like evil-- has a way of multiplying rapidly. Even in Israel and the Palestinian territories, for example, the majority of 'regular' Israelis and Palestinians just want peace. Period.
If serving one's country on the battlefield is honorable, how much more so preempting the need for loss of life in the first place? And this can only be achieved by bettering the human condition and making lives better on both sides. Fighting for the hearts of both your own people and the civilian opposition, for what we have in common is far more than the few little things that make us different.
Now, if only more military leaders and right wing activists would hold my view. Hmmm...perhaps if I sent them a basket of cheese and wine, with an envelope saying "Please open me when you're feeling sufficiently happy". My ideas would be inside, of course ;) Or perhaps I should rent them a Big Bounce. How can you be upset or angry on a Big Bounce? Better yet, I should get the leaders from both sides of a conflict together for a Bouncy talk/"play date" or an afternoon at Disney World, and they'd end up laughing so much they'd shake hands afterwards and work out their differences. I wish...may it be soon, in our time!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Billie Joe the Pug's First Encounter With a 2 Pieces of Cereal-filled Egg Carton
Oh boy, oh boy, I hear the box!
A box, any box, who cares, it's food!
FOOD, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! FOOD!!!
Maybe I should sit.
Where's the food?
There it maybe sit food sit ok ok,
I sit, I - food - sit.
Hurry up, bring my food,
Smells so good, where is it, what IS that?
Food, food, scary white thing!
Should I...go closer...maybe one step...two,
oh dear G-d, it has no fear, unmoving scoundrel!
Must jump back!
Stealing my food! I'll just hide--
Over here-- near the big hairless dogs...who smell funny.
At least they have food.
Maybe they give me more food,
What's that sound, food?
She speaks...food?
Yawn...food?
The big one farted...food?
I'll wait, a little more, a little more,
AHA!!!! I heard it,
Ground, food, WHERE? THERE! YUMMMMMMMMM...
Ah, what next?
Hmm...food? ;)
A box, any box, who cares, it's food!
FOOD, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! FOOD!!!
Maybe I should sit.
Where's the food?
There it maybe sit food sit ok ok,
I sit, I - food - sit.
Hurry up, bring my food,
Smells so good, where is it, what IS that?
Food, food, scary white thing!
Should I...go closer...maybe one step...two,
oh dear G-d, it has no fear, unmoving scoundrel!
Must jump back!
Stealing my food! I'll just hide--
Over here-- near the big hairless dogs...who smell funny.
At least they have food.
Maybe they give me more food,
What's that sound, food?
She speaks...food?
Yawn...food?
The big one farted...food?
I'll wait, a little more, a little more,
AHA!!!! I heard it,
Ground, food, WHERE? THERE! YUMMMMMMMMM...
Ah, what next?
Hmm...food? ;)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving & random things to think about
In case anyone gets bored over the holidays, here's some stuff to think about. Maybe during one of those long shopping sprees, when you're trying to find your breath underneath a Mango Mandarin scented shopper who just ran you over and then decided to sit on top of you, you can ponder these unknowns. Not that I'm condoning violence, just trying to be realistic here :P Anyway, just think about this:
* Why are stoplights green, red, and yellow (and isn't that yellow more like orange anyway)? Why does green mean ok, let's go, and red means, whoah, stop there mister? Maybe somebody a while back just had their heart broken and decided to nurture a grudge against poor ole red. Or, maybe red represents blood and war and green promotes peace and the Earth and pro-environment stuff. Hmmm, noble ideals, but perhaps there's a better way to promote this noble green concept than on a stoplight, in the middle of a highway, directing gas-guzzling traffic...
* Why are cars and trucks always smiling? Don't believe me? Haha, just go outside-- yes, RIGHT NOW, i don't care if you're working or busy, you deserve a break-- and have a look at your own car. I'll bet you he's (or she's) smiling back at you :) Makes you feel so much better when that lovely smiling car behind you decides to ride two inches from your bumper, or decides to zoom pass you in a no pass zone. At least the car smiled first...but wait, maybe that smile was just haughty, or sneaky, or this is getting way too complicated!!!
Ha, well I just amused myself this morning, so I hope I at least got a smile out of you guys as well. And Happy Thanksgiving =)
* Why are stoplights green, red, and yellow (and isn't that yellow more like orange anyway)? Why does green mean ok, let's go, and red means, whoah, stop there mister? Maybe somebody a while back just had their heart broken and decided to nurture a grudge against poor ole red. Or, maybe red represents blood and war and green promotes peace and the Earth and pro-environment stuff. Hmmm, noble ideals, but perhaps there's a better way to promote this noble green concept than on a stoplight, in the middle of a highway, directing gas-guzzling traffic...
* Why are cars and trucks always smiling? Don't believe me? Haha, just go outside-- yes, RIGHT NOW, i don't care if you're working or busy, you deserve a break-- and have a look at your own car. I'll bet you he's (or she's) smiling back at you :) Makes you feel so much better when that lovely smiling car behind you decides to ride two inches from your bumper, or decides to zoom pass you in a no pass zone. At least the car smiled first...but wait, maybe that smile was just haughty, or sneaky, or this is getting way too complicated!!!
Ha, well I just amused myself this morning, so I hope I at least got a smile out of you guys as well. And Happy Thanksgiving =)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Flying...i did and you can too ;-)
Don't worry guys, I want to write something really positive to counter that last post. So I'm gonna jump right into it. If you have something really important or powerful that you're dealing with or that's bothering you, it is WAAAY better to get it out of your system...in some way (nonviolent preferred!...unless you're hitting a blow up doll of good ole George W...and for all the Republicans out there, just substitute a different name, i understand we all have our differences). Talking to someone is ideal, but only when you're ready. Sometimes, it might indeed be better not to deal with something until a time comes when you feel you can handle it. Other times, it is better to deal with it right away...only you can make that decision, don't let others make it for you.
Friends, family, mentors, dogs, cats (eh, ok, maybe not ;) anyone can be a good listener and a good listener is sooooo important. We were not made to deal with life alone. And ok, enough with this deep stuff, I wanna talk about dreams. Good dreams! I had a dream the other day where I was actually flying. I was running down the streets of my neighborhood and sometimes I would jump in the air...and I would take flight. So naturally, it seemed completely real, I could fly like Superman (er, woman) and do circles and go so fast it felt effortless. And I felt like part of a neighborhood patrol, as there were others who were flying too, keeping watch and helping everyone be safe. But the best part was that I truly flew, effortlessly, throwing myself into the air and soaring like it was what I was made to do. My point here, ladies and gentlemen, and I do have one, is that anything good that happens in your dreams IS your reality. Just as much as anything good that happens in "real life" is something you've accomplished, I will now always be able to say that I have flown, me, alone, with no mechanical help or obstacles. It felt real to me and I experienced it as a real event.
Thus, it is great to embrace your dreams, especially good ones, for all they're worth...and perhaps to realize as well that reality and life itself is what we make of it. What we choose to focus on, to be, to aspire to. I can believe oh, it's just a dream, i didn't really fly, a human can never fly...or I can believe that I did in fact fly and that we are all capable of so much more than what we might deem 'realistic' or 'normal'. I choose to believe the latter.
Friends, family, mentors, dogs, cats (eh, ok, maybe not ;) anyone can be a good listener and a good listener is sooooo important. We were not made to deal with life alone. And ok, enough with this deep stuff, I wanna talk about dreams. Good dreams! I had a dream the other day where I was actually flying. I was running down the streets of my neighborhood and sometimes I would jump in the air...and I would take flight. So naturally, it seemed completely real, I could fly like Superman (er, woman) and do circles and go so fast it felt effortless. And I felt like part of a neighborhood patrol, as there were others who were flying too, keeping watch and helping everyone be safe. But the best part was that I truly flew, effortlessly, throwing myself into the air and soaring like it was what I was made to do. My point here, ladies and gentlemen, and I do have one, is that anything good that happens in your dreams IS your reality. Just as much as anything good that happens in "real life" is something you've accomplished, I will now always be able to say that I have flown, me, alone, with no mechanical help or obstacles. It felt real to me and I experienced it as a real event.
Thus, it is great to embrace your dreams, especially good ones, for all they're worth...and perhaps to realize as well that reality and life itself is what we make of it. What we choose to focus on, to be, to aspire to. I can believe oh, it's just a dream, i didn't really fly, a human can never fly...or I can believe that I did in fact fly and that we are all capable of so much more than what we might deem 'realistic' or 'normal'. I choose to believe the latter.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Amidst the river of time (For a friend)
*For a friend
-- I know life is short and sometimes our time with loved ones flies away much faster than we would like, but just make the most of it. That's all you can do and the greatest gift you can give is your time and spirit and love. And remember that those who most deeply touch us leave an indelible imprint on our soul, forever, just as I once remember hearing that G-d pressed down on the world and left his own imprint. A beautiful saying, whoever could have told me that? :-)
----------------------------
We all have a past.
And a present and a future.
We all have memories, traumas, joys,
Dreams, possibilities.
Upon different paths we traverse the universe,
Our destinies sometimes intertwining with others,
Other times flying solo,
Always moving forward...
Time is the one given, a basic building block of life.
Infinite, yet finite, time defies us all.
Living in the river of time, we are sometimes unaware
Of its motion, its substance, its nature--
Until it is gone.
Or rather, until we are no longer physically a part of it.
It is often easier to see another's river than our own.
Sickness can cause their river to cloud, grow muddy, lose nutrients
And vitality.
We feel helpless and distant, our life preservers and best attempts
To save our loved ones must by nature fail...as we
Cannot enter their river, heal their liquid time, cause past events to be erased,
Past years to be relived, flowing in a different direction.
Time will best us all, in the end.
Some journeys ending sooner than others, some tragically,
Some peacefully, some triumphantly,
All with their own effect on the ocean of time.
A river never flows alone, but dances with streams, tributaries, oceans...
We cannot enter another's river, but our own time river is influenced
By those of our loved ones, sharing water, nutrients, characteristics, life...
In this way, those we are closest to live on in us, in our lives,
Our characters, our time. The nature of our own river,
Our own path, our own time is an everlasting
Tribute to the lives, time, and influence of others.
Thus death is not an end, but rather a transition,
As we live on in the lives of all those we have touched,
Just as our loved ones' essence lives on in us, forever.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Free Will
Free will is a powerful thing.
We can choose to love, we can choose to hate,
To look left or right, to eat this, to reject that,
To justify our reasons, our actions, our lives, our feelings.
But can we choose to feel?
Can I say 'I want to feel happy' and lo, behold! I am feeling happy?
Perhaps the choice lies not so much in the what but in the how...
Not what I feel, but
How I respond to it.
Not what I see, but
How I choose to perceive it.
And what I choose to do about it.
But why the human need to justify, to
Defend, to explain these choices?
As a wise person once said, our good natures are here at fault.
For were we not good,
Our wrongs would need no sugar coating.
Were we not kind,
Our injustices need no explaining away, no
Defending, no searching for approval, even
Within ourselves.
Thus we all have the choice to be
Something more than what we were,
To look deep inside and
Act on that which unites us all,
To freely choose to be what we are,
Feel what we feel, and
Do what we can to illuminate the
Darkness within ourselves and the world.
And to ask for help when we need it, for there is no shame in
Letting love in.
In fact, being lovable is a choice,
And one of the greatest gifts we have to offer.
In a closed-off world, love would never survive,
It is only through open hearts and minds that we
Connect to others, and allow them to connect to us.
Too often, we shut these doors
Out of fear, uncertainty, or self-protection.
We can and should protect ourselves --any such choice is justifiable--
But true courage involves taking chances and at times
Risking the unknown.
A loving world is not merely the sum of its people,
But rather the quality and strength of the relations
Between these people. Open hearts create
Limitless possibilities and a more beautiful, complete world...
We can choose to love, we can choose to hate,
To look left or right, to eat this, to reject that,
To justify our reasons, our actions, our lives, our feelings.
But can we choose to feel?
Can I say 'I want to feel happy' and lo, behold! I am feeling happy?
Perhaps the choice lies not so much in the what but in the how...
Not what I feel, but
How I respond to it.
Not what I see, but
How I choose to perceive it.
And what I choose to do about it.
But why the human need to justify, to
Defend, to explain these choices?
As a wise person once said, our good natures are here at fault.
For were we not good,
Our wrongs would need no sugar coating.
Were we not kind,
Our injustices need no explaining away, no
Defending, no searching for approval, even
Within ourselves.
Thus we all have the choice to be
Something more than what we were,
To look deep inside and
Act on that which unites us all,
To freely choose to be what we are,
Feel what we feel, and
Do what we can to illuminate the
Darkness within ourselves and the world.
And to ask for help when we need it, for there is no shame in
Letting love in.
In fact, being lovable is a choice,
And one of the greatest gifts we have to offer.
In a closed-off world, love would never survive,
It is only through open hearts and minds that we
Connect to others, and allow them to connect to us.
Too often, we shut these doors
Out of fear, uncertainty, or self-protection.
We can and should protect ourselves --any such choice is justifiable--
But true courage involves taking chances and at times
Risking the unknown.
A loving world is not merely the sum of its people,
But rather the quality and strength of the relations
Between these people. Open hearts create
Limitless possibilities and a more beautiful, complete world...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Upon the wings of time
Talking owls, magic wolves,
Unicorns that fly in droves,
Upon the wings of time it seems
That life can be most anything.
Flying humans, swimming birds,
Tell me is it not absurd
To think the world fixed in scope
When all you need is a bit of hope?
So dream of little talking ants,
Dream of dogs that sure can dance!
Imagine floating on a star
Be assured it's not that far
If worlds can spin and time can bend
And God's creations have no end
Just know, of this one thing be sure,
To live is grand, to love is more.
Unicorns that fly in droves,
Upon the wings of time it seems
That life can be most anything.
Flying humans, swimming birds,
Tell me is it not absurd
To think the world fixed in scope
When all you need is a bit of hope?
So dream of little talking ants,
Dream of dogs that sure can dance!
Imagine floating on a star
Be assured it's not that far
If worlds can spin and time can bend
And God's creations have no end
Just know, of this one thing be sure,
To live is grand, to love is more.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Laugh
Love yourself and others will catch on.
Act crazy when the mood strikes you: no magic ever happens if you don’t attempt it.
Understand that sometimes sadness happens, but all valleys are surrounded by higher ground.
Give as much of yourself as is safe to give...and recognize the gifts of others.
Hug someone everyday, even if it’s just yourself or your dog; that way, when someone else comes around, you’ll be ready!
Act crazy when the mood strikes you: no magic ever happens if you don’t attempt it.
Understand that sometimes sadness happens, but all valleys are surrounded by higher ground.
Give as much of yourself as is safe to give...and recognize the gifts of others.
Hug someone everyday, even if it’s just yourself or your dog; that way, when someone else comes around, you’ll be ready!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
"Freedom"
Never fear to say that
Which you know not how
To say. To triumph over
Self, give voice to heart
And soul, share the
Song within...this
Will set you free.
And the music of your
Soul knows no words but
Truth, love, and
That which we feel
Yet cannot say...
Which you know not how
To say. To triumph over
Self, give voice to heart
And soul, share the
Song within...this
Will set you free.
And the music of your
Soul knows no words but
Truth, love, and
That which we feel
Yet cannot say...
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sweet waters and Conan
So, today's a good day so far, a few days ago, eh, not so much. But when you're down, well, it's always good to try to think of something positive (especially when that is the absolute last thing you want to do at the time). Sometimes you'll come up with stuff that you never would have thought of otherwise. Yeah yeah, i know, I've gotta back that up, right? Ok, the other day I started thinking that u know, it's a really good thing that fresh water is sweet, cuz just imagine if it was all bitter...yech!!! :) so the next time you're down, try drinking some water and close your eyes & be happy that your tongue at least has escaped the deluge of bitter waters. i know, it's not much to go on but it is something and that's what counts. also, this clip from Conan is absolutely hilarious and somehow had the ability to turn my tears into laughter every time, which was absolutely frustrating and amazing at the same time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy3dX2KDhog
if that's not real magic, then i don't know what is ;)
if that's not real magic, then i don't know what is ;)
Saturday, February 14, 2009
"Yitro" (Shabbes 20 Shvat, 5769)
All right, so I’ve just gotta say something about the parshah for this week. Why? Cuz it’s special and cool and because I didn’t have a chance to actually speak about it this year (ya know, d’var torah style), I’m gonna at least write down what I would have said. And who knows, maybe next year I’ll get to actually say it! :) So here we go!!!!
***
Our parshah, “Yitro”, opens with the return of Moses’ father in law, Jethro (Yitro), who has heard of the wonders that G-d has performed for the Israelites by taking them out of Egypt. He advises Moses to appoint judges and magistrates to help him in his task of governing the people, and Moses decides to act on Jethro’s advice. Next, we find ourselves outside of Mount Sinai, where G-d proclaims that the Israelites are to be a “kingdom of priests” and a “holy nation”. Then, seven weeks after the Exodus, Mount Sinai is the place to be as G-d (the divine) descends and Moshe (the human) ascends to meet Him. G-d then gives the 10 commandments to the entire Israelite community, who are overcome by the power of such intimate human-divine communication and beg Moses to serve as a buffer between them and G-d while the Torah is revealed.
So that’s the basic summary of it all, and now let’s examine the parshah a bit more closely, shall we? If we consider Jethro’s advice to Moses, not only is it sound advice (and from a non-Israelite, no less!), but it also reflects on an important theme in the Torah: the division of human power and the acknowledgment of the unique contributions that can be made by various individuals. What do I mean by this? Well, as we’ve seen throughout human history, too much power in the hands of one individual is not a good thing. It’s overwhelming for the person themselves, and it also opens the door for such power to be abused. Thus, sharing the responsibility for judging and governing the people is better for Moses and for the community at large.
I believe that this is the same reason why we don’t just have a Moshe, but also an Aharon. While Moshe is the powerful, strong leader of the Israelites, Aharon is the more compassionate one, a better speaker and wordsmith, and an advisor and leader in his own right. Both men serve to complement each other and share in the division of power and responsibility, just as G-d has desired. And even in the time of the Judges and the Kings of Israel and Judah, we have the prophets and kohanim to counteract the quite formidable power wielded by these strong political leaders.
Finally, I would like to talk about the great significance of the Israelites’ response to G-d’s declaration that we are to be a “kingdom of priests” and a “holy nation”. Upon hearing about the covenant and G-d’s wishes for us, we could have said “Sure, all that G-d says, we hear it and we’ll remember it, for sure...” and then the next day, we run for our lives! But what do words really mean? For example, I can say anything I want to, whether I truly believe it or care about it or not, but words are only empty words unless I act upon them. In that way, even if I truly do believe something and speak beautiful words about it, those words are little more than pretty sound if I do not back them up with my own actions. And so we see that the Israelites’ response “All that G-d has spoken, we shall do” is all the more significant. “Do” is the key word here, to actually put beliefs into action and thus change the world through our actions, as G-d has wished. Even if it takes a few blatantly wrong actions (think golden…) for us to get the hang of truly acting on what we say :) Shabbat Shalom & Shavua tov!!!
***
Our parshah, “Yitro”, opens with the return of Moses’ father in law, Jethro (Yitro), who has heard of the wonders that G-d has performed for the Israelites by taking them out of Egypt. He advises Moses to appoint judges and magistrates to help him in his task of governing the people, and Moses decides to act on Jethro’s advice. Next, we find ourselves outside of Mount Sinai, where G-d proclaims that the Israelites are to be a “kingdom of priests” and a “holy nation”. Then, seven weeks after the Exodus, Mount Sinai is the place to be as G-d (the divine) descends and Moshe (the human) ascends to meet Him. G-d then gives the 10 commandments to the entire Israelite community, who are overcome by the power of such intimate human-divine communication and beg Moses to serve as a buffer between them and G-d while the Torah is revealed.
So that’s the basic summary of it all, and now let’s examine the parshah a bit more closely, shall we? If we consider Jethro’s advice to Moses, not only is it sound advice (and from a non-Israelite, no less!), but it also reflects on an important theme in the Torah: the division of human power and the acknowledgment of the unique contributions that can be made by various individuals. What do I mean by this? Well, as we’ve seen throughout human history, too much power in the hands of one individual is not a good thing. It’s overwhelming for the person themselves, and it also opens the door for such power to be abused. Thus, sharing the responsibility for judging and governing the people is better for Moses and for the community at large.
I believe that this is the same reason why we don’t just have a Moshe, but also an Aharon. While Moshe is the powerful, strong leader of the Israelites, Aharon is the more compassionate one, a better speaker and wordsmith, and an advisor and leader in his own right. Both men serve to complement each other and share in the division of power and responsibility, just as G-d has desired. And even in the time of the Judges and the Kings of Israel and Judah, we have the prophets and kohanim to counteract the quite formidable power wielded by these strong political leaders.
Finally, I would like to talk about the great significance of the Israelites’ response to G-d’s declaration that we are to be a “kingdom of priests” and a “holy nation”. Upon hearing about the covenant and G-d’s wishes for us, we could have said “Sure, all that G-d says, we hear it and we’ll remember it, for sure...” and then the next day, we run for our lives! But what do words really mean? For example, I can say anything I want to, whether I truly believe it or care about it or not, but words are only empty words unless I act upon them. In that way, even if I truly do believe something and speak beautiful words about it, those words are little more than pretty sound if I do not back them up with my own actions. And so we see that the Israelites’ response “All that G-d has spoken, we shall do” is all the more significant. “Do” is the key word here, to actually put beliefs into action and thus change the world through our actions, as G-d has wished. Even if it takes a few blatantly wrong actions (think golden…) for us to get the hang of truly acting on what we say :) Shabbat Shalom & Shavua tov!!!
this is cool...and funny! :)
So, I was visiting http://www.xyre.org/tag/orthodoxy/ and found this interesting commentary. Please enjoy!
“Much of the Talmud, and related writings, are about traditions thousands of years in the past, or places thousands of miles away, or both. Example: Deuteronomy 21.18–21 commands you to stone your son who is stubborn and rebellious (the so-called ben sorer umoreh). Do we do this anymore? Of course not. Did they even do it in the time of the Talmud? Of course not, and the Talmud itself basically admits as much: Chapter 8 of Tractate Sanhedrin (pages 68b and following) is obviously unhappy with this Torah law, so it institutes so many rules and regulations that it basically makes the ben sorer umoreh impossible to exist, thus legislating the Torah’s law out of existence. But the argumentation involved covers five pages of Talmud, concluding with ‘there never was one, and there never will be one’, but then Rabbi Jonathan says, ‘I saw one, and I sat on his grave.’ What the hell does this mean?..." hehehe =)
“Much of the Talmud, and related writings, are about traditions thousands of years in the past, or places thousands of miles away, or both. Example: Deuteronomy 21.18–21 commands you to stone your son who is stubborn and rebellious (the so-called ben sorer umoreh). Do we do this anymore? Of course not. Did they even do it in the time of the Talmud? Of course not, and the Talmud itself basically admits as much: Chapter 8 of Tractate Sanhedrin (pages 68b and following) is obviously unhappy with this Torah law, so it institutes so many rules and regulations that it basically makes the ben sorer umoreh impossible to exist, thus legislating the Torah’s law out of existence. But the argumentation involved covers five pages of Talmud, concluding with ‘there never was one, and there never will be one’, but then Rabbi Jonathan says, ‘I saw one, and I sat on his grave.’ What the hell does this mean?..." hehehe =)
Friday, February 6, 2009
Cheese and the English
Hey again to the wonderful world of cyberspace! I didn't wanna end the week on a down note, so I decided to write something more cheerful. And it worked for me, made me laugh, so please enjoy these amazing insights, awesome words of true beauty, wisdom, wonder, yeah, i'm just trying to create a good mood here. I bet you're smiling by now, so good, my job is done:
*******
Ok, let’s talk about the English. Why can’t the English teach their children how to speak? This verbal class distinction, by now should...and ok, I’ll stop with that. But what I really wanna know is this: how is it that the English language can turn perfectly good, meaningful, and nice-sounding words in other languages into the characteristically drab, ‘refined’ version of a reserved Englishman...that is, if said Englishman were a word? Utterly confusing, my dear Hastings, but that’s the point. WHY do they do it? Let’s see an example, shall we? Take the word “queso”, meaning the delicious hard substance that we make from aged milk curd. Mmmmmm, gotta love that old coagulated milk, tasty...!!! Ha, but that’s not the point. The point is, that “queso” in Spanish actually sounds like “Que es eso”? Which means literally "What is that?" -- not a bad description of any kind of chunky milk product, in my opinion. But you see, that makes sense; because, in a way, the substance does have some explaining to do. So why not give it a name that reflects that point? Ah, but now the kicker: why the heck did the English have to change a hip word like that to something so boring: “cheese”? I mean, really, cheese?? Or, if in reality the English word predates the Spanish one, WHY couldn’t the English think of a more fitting description and be creative like the Hispanics? Why not “Wisthat” or “Watsat” for short? How about a grilled “watsat” sandwich, please? See how it rolls off the tongue? Why must English words also be restricted to the confines of English mortals, why can’t they reach higher and let loose and be free as a bird, a plane? That must be why it rains in Spain on the plane, could be an English system to keep those rebel free words from living full, happy lives. You know, they never say where the plane is from, and why is the rain in Spain suddenly falling on it? Must be English and there’s a revolutionary word on board, there’s no other explanation.
Here’s another one: “corn”. Yep, you heard me, “cornnnnn”. What is that? Is that supposed to make me feel good saying it, or want to eat it, or perhaps just get bored out of my head by the time the final ‘nnnnn’ comes to an end on my tongue? “Maíz” is a much better word, or even “maize” or “choclo” if you want...but how the heck do you end up with “corn”? Ok, imagine this: one day, you see a beautiful green plant, young but sturdy, and you decide to adopt it and water it and help it grow tall and strong. Then at long last, your plant bears fruit (er, vegetables, veggie babies, whatever you want to call them) and you’re overjoyed. You name the new creations: ...“corn”. Huh? Is that all the emotion you can convey for such an amazing plant and food item? Maíz at least sounds exciting, or sounds like you were excited, but leave it to the English to think of a dull word for one of the world’s most versatile and amazing foods. At least ‘popcorn’ is a little better... :)
*******
Ok, let’s talk about the English. Why can’t the English teach their children how to speak? This verbal class distinction, by now should...and ok, I’ll stop with that. But what I really wanna know is this: how is it that the English language can turn perfectly good, meaningful, and nice-sounding words in other languages into the characteristically drab, ‘refined’ version of a reserved Englishman...that is, if said Englishman were a word? Utterly confusing, my dear Hastings, but that’s the point. WHY do they do it? Let’s see an example, shall we? Take the word “queso”, meaning the delicious hard substance that we make from aged milk curd. Mmmmmm, gotta love that old coagulated milk, tasty...!!! Ha, but that’s not the point. The point is, that “queso” in Spanish actually sounds like “Que es eso”? Which means literally "What is that?" -- not a bad description of any kind of chunky milk product, in my opinion. But you see, that makes sense; because, in a way, the substance does have some explaining to do. So why not give it a name that reflects that point? Ah, but now the kicker: why the heck did the English have to change a hip word like that to something so boring: “cheese”? I mean, really, cheese?? Or, if in reality the English word predates the Spanish one, WHY couldn’t the English think of a more fitting description and be creative like the Hispanics? Why not “Wisthat” or “Watsat” for short? How about a grilled “watsat” sandwich, please? See how it rolls off the tongue? Why must English words also be restricted to the confines of English mortals, why can’t they reach higher and let loose and be free as a bird, a plane? That must be why it rains in Spain on the plane, could be an English system to keep those rebel free words from living full, happy lives. You know, they never say where the plane is from, and why is the rain in Spain suddenly falling on it? Must be English and there’s a revolutionary word on board, there’s no other explanation.
Here’s another one: “corn”. Yep, you heard me, “cornnnnn”. What is that? Is that supposed to make me feel good saying it, or want to eat it, or perhaps just get bored out of my head by the time the final ‘nnnnn’ comes to an end on my tongue? “Maíz” is a much better word, or even “maize” or “choclo” if you want...but how the heck do you end up with “corn”? Ok, imagine this: one day, you see a beautiful green plant, young but sturdy, and you decide to adopt it and water it and help it grow tall and strong. Then at long last, your plant bears fruit (er, vegetables, veggie babies, whatever you want to call them) and you’re overjoyed. You name the new creations: ...“corn”. Huh? Is that all the emotion you can convey for such an amazing plant and food item? Maíz at least sounds exciting, or sounds like you were excited, but leave it to the English to think of a dull word for one of the world’s most versatile and amazing foods. At least ‘popcorn’ is a little better... :)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
To fly...
A constant aching sadness
Burns my heart, dulls my
Mind, embraces
Pain so deep it seems
My very blood is not immune.
Why?
Why me? Why alone?
For what greater purpose?
Is it thus my lot among us
To hurt, therefore to know
Unquestionably
The awesome beauty of true happiness,
However fleeting?
To cling to moments of light and
Flee the darkness, inside and
Out? I will not fall, I
Must not fall, I fly onwards...
Compassion gained but at what cost?
To cry for others, yet lose myself...alone?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
To dance...
I know, yet do not know.
Feel deeply, yet do not feel.
Never relaxed, often numb,
Tasting bubble gum dreams in my mind.
I wish I could dance
Freely
Like I know I can:
A baby clown in sunglasses,
A lost 3-year-old dancing in the streets.
I wish I could dance again.
Feel.
Escape.
Be myself.
And then
Only then, will I be free...
Feel deeply, yet do not feel.
Never relaxed, often numb,
Tasting bubble gum dreams in my mind.
I wish I could dance
Freely
Like I know I can:
A baby clown in sunglasses,
A lost 3-year-old dancing in the streets.
I wish I could dance again.
Feel.
Escape.
Be myself.
And then
Only then, will I be free...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
“Hope” (inspired by the Inauguration of President Barack Obama, January 20, 2009)
Hope.
That love is the answer.
That peace will prevail.
That anger will soon fizzle out like a solitary match in a frictionless world.
That those we care for live, safely, joyously, purposefully.
Love.
By which the world is remade.
Through which we find ourselves.
For which we write poems, utter praises,
Live to face another day.
Courage.
To move on despite obstacles.
To feel more than what is prudent.
To fight for hope, love, freedom,
And a better understanding of our world...and ourselves.
Honesty.
To know when we are wrong.
To be truthful with ourselves.
To help loved ones rise above the past
By showing them the truth...even...if it hurts.
Integrity.
To not compromise our values.
To speak of things not spoken.
To help friends escape the bonds of love denied and friendship slighted
And not speak ill of those who denied it...even though we may have every right to do so.
Forgiveness.
Of all those who have wronged us.
Of all the wrongs we have nurtured.
Of our lack of courage,
Selfish love,
Trembling integrity,
And painful honesty,
For in forgiveness of our faults and unyielding will to move beyond our shortcomings
We find our true strength and the divine gift to humanity:
HOPE
That love is the answer.
That peace will prevail.
That anger will soon fizzle out like a solitary match in a frictionless world.
That those we care for live, safely, joyously, purposefully.
Love.
By which the world is remade.
Through which we find ourselves.
For which we write poems, utter praises,
Live to face another day.
Courage.
To move on despite obstacles.
To feel more than what is prudent.
To fight for hope, love, freedom,
And a better understanding of our world...and ourselves.
Honesty.
To know when we are wrong.
To be truthful with ourselves.
To help loved ones rise above the past
By showing them the truth...even...if it hurts.
Integrity.
To not compromise our values.
To speak of things not spoken.
To help friends escape the bonds of love denied and friendship slighted
And not speak ill of those who denied it...even though we may have every right to do so.
Forgiveness.
Of all those who have wronged us.
Of all the wrongs we have nurtured.
Of our lack of courage,
Selfish love,
Trembling integrity,
And painful honesty,
For in forgiveness of our faults and unyielding will to move beyond our shortcomings
We find our true strength and the divine gift to humanity:
HOPE
Just a little note
So, I decided on a whim to create this blog and so far I've just posted some of my old poetry and writings, just to get em outta my system I guess! There will be new literary masterpieces forthcoming (or at least some thoughts worth thinking about) so I'm excited about that. But at this particular moment, I am exhausted and sounding like my old English teacher, which is never a good thing, so I bid you good night and sweet dreams. Haha, i never knew talking to myself would be this much fun, almost as much fun as singing back responses to people (instead of talking like a 'normal' person). I have yet to try that, but I might, maybe I'll make that a goal of mine for 2009! Seriously, the idea is sounding better by the second ;)
Excerpt from "Diary"
Thurs. May 11, 2006
Hi. It’s late. Or else I’m just really tired. But I think it actually is pretty late cuz I’m starting to get visions. Well, you know, just really strange double vision that gives these words a life of their own -- in the literal sense, because sometimes it seems that they’re in motion, fading in and out…ok, I admit it, maybe I should go to bed. But then again, it would be cool to have visions – the real kind, I mean, prophecies and the like. But while I’m thinking about it, how would you know if what you’re seeing is a vision/prophecy or just a type of hallucination/daydream or something of the sort, resulting from severe fatigue or sleep deprivation? I think I’ll sleep on that one.
Fri. May 12, 2006
Good morning! That’s a classic, it’s like the one phrase that everyone knows and uses --- and this holds true for other languages as well: Buenos dias. Boker tov. Bom dia. Guten morgen. Sabaah al-khayr. You get the point. I think it means that someone a long time ago decided that we should all wake up optimistic and start things off on the right foot (pardon the cliche). But as the day progresses, in English-speaking America we apparently lose some of this optimism after lunch and regain it again around dinner time. Maybe you’ll disagree with me, but I can’t remember the last time anyone told me “Good afternoon” in English. It just sounds formal and all, you know. So we just say ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ or ‘Hi. How are you?’ instead. But later on, the optimism magically returns! So it is with a smile that I bid you ‘Good night’ (at 7 in the morning). But no matter. Actually, I don’t see what’s wrong with wishing someone a good night when it’s not technically considered ‘night’ yet. What’s wrong with showing a little hope for the future (even if we’re only talking about a future just hours away)? I think I’ll start doing that on occasion…just to see what kind of reaction I get. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
Sat. May 13, 2006
It’s raining. Again. Just another one of those dreary days where everything’s gray outside and you just feel like renting a good movie, making some hot chocolate and snuggling up on the couch to watch it. Even if your dog is the only one you have to cuddle with…and I hate to say it, but man, he really needs a mint or something! And, oh no, here he comes again. Down, bud! Billie, get down! Ok, come here then. That’s good, good boy, hey, settle down now, there you go. Whoa, wait a second, I just got a nice whiff again and man that is amazing. Better not waste it on me, bud, save it for that special someone. Anyway, the rain just keeps washing the sky outside, falling like there’s no tomorrow, and I just keep watching the film and thinking about stuff. You know, philosophical kinds of stuff. Like what’s going to happen to the planet and the human race a thousand years from now (given the planet still exists), how it would be to meet someone like Martin Luther King, Jr., or to actually come face to face with God (at least in the figurative sense), why I was born, and if we’re really on Earth in the first place or just imagining it… you know, rainy days are great like that for inspiration.
Tues. May 16, 2006
Live for each other. That’s a great phrase. If you can believe it, it was actually attached to my teabag this morning, sort of a kind of morning inspirational thing. But it got me started thinking. It’s one of those great expressions that can be interpreted in so many different ways; that’s what makes it so cool, cuz it’s got a touch of the universal. Know what I mean? It’s like, you could think of it as pertaining to couples and ‘lovebirds’, or to the fact that we all (as in all of humanity) should ‘live for each other’. And it may refer to living our lives in a way that shows our love for each other (perhaps just by living them to the fullest), or then again, maybe it’s just trying to tell us not to commit suicide. I still think it’s a cool phrase though! By the way, apparently it’s already midnight again, so I think I’m gonna head to bed. You know, it just occurred to me that that’s actually a rather appropriate expression. If you take it literally, it actually makes sense: head to bed. Unless you’re one of those who prefers sleeping standing up or something, with no need for a bed. Weird, but possible. Well, anyway, it’s time to put that phrase in action so…good night!
Thurs. May 18, 2006
Good night! See, I did it, I’ve been wanting to try out that expression again -- in an anachronistic way, of course (i.e. in the morning or the afternoon!). I really hope you’re reading this during one of those times --- that would mean that I accomplished my purpose! Cuz when you’re writing (unless you’re using instant messages or something where you have dialogue that occurs in real-time), there’s really nothing wrong with me saying ‘it’s five o’clock in the morning’ even if it’s actually seven at night when I’m writing that. It’s normal, just a kind of literary freedom, I guess. But I want you to imagine that right now, we’re actually having a real, in person conversation. So just think of the ‘good night’ in that sense. I really hope it is morning or something where you are, cuz that would make it all more fun and meaningful. Or at least more unusual, in a good kind of way.
A few hours later, Thurs. May 18, 2006
Have you ever just sat and stared blankly at something, trying to focus but completely unable to see anything clearly. It’s like you’re there, but you’re not really there. Know what I mean? That’s what just happened with me and my computer screen and it was actually pretty hard to snap out of it and get myself to start writing again. But I managed to do it! But anyway, I wanted to ask you something. Have you ever had fresh, cold (perhaps I should say chilled) snap peas? Like for snack, or something – maybe with raw carrots, tomatoes, and dip? Cuz I had them for the second time last night at my friend’s house (the first time was at an Oneg after Friday night Shabbat services) and man, were they good! I think I dominated the fresh vegetable section of the snacks available for consumption at the gathering last night. That sounds funny. Oh well, it’s true so I stand by it. Well, to make a long story short, you should try them. End of discussion. See ya later.
May 21, 2006
Hola. ¿Cómo andas? That’s Spanish for Hi, how’s it going? (well, literally it means something like “Hi, how are you walking”? and it makes sense when you say it in Argentina, though in Costa Rica people just look at you like you’re nuts!). But it’s useful info, just in case we wind up getting a second national language someday, or in case you ever go to Miami or southern California, where no one speaks English anymore. It’s weird, but you know, that way you don’t actually have to visit Mexico to get a real taste of what the Hispanic culture is like. No sir, these days Mexico just comes to you! I’m just exaggerating, no offense intended, but there is a grain of truth in that, don’t you think? Anyway, I hope you had a good night and woke up this morning feeling fresh and rested. Cuz I know I didn’t, so I’m hoping I can feed off of your energy. Haha. That’s a good one, right? Like who actually gets enough sleep anymore, it’s like an impossible dream. Except for my friend Dov, he somehow manages to get around eight hours of sleep on a regular basis. And around exam time, then seven and a half. HOW does he do it, I want to know? That’s a talent I definitely don’t have and I bet you don’t either. So we’ve gotta work on it, ok? Deal? I say we try to increase our ‘sleep intake’ gradually, say, averaging 30 more minutes a night and making these 30 minute gains every two weeks or so – until we get up to about eight hours a night on average. Confused? Me too, but c’mon, how hard can it be? I’m averaging around six and a half hours of sleep right now (around five or six during the school year), so in about six weeks (if our plan works), I should be up to eight hours a night in the summer. But how can we make the plan effective? Gosh, that’s a toughie…think I’ll sleep on it. And I know it’s early, but I’m gonna go ahead and say it: Boa noite. Buenas noches. Good night. Now you’re trilingual! Congrats. Wanna keep going? Ok, fine by me. Layla tov. Tasbuh ala’ khayr. Satisfied? Good. See ya.
May 22, 2006
You ever feel that you don’t really belong anywhere? Like you’re just a ‘speck of dust’ in a universe in which nothing really has any meaning and nothing you do really makes a difference? (that’s the philosophy of Yair, the older brother in Knafayim Shvurot, until he has an epiphany and starts to actually live again --- it’s a great movie, like I said, so go see it, why don’t you? Anyway, the point is, I find myself feeling like that a lot. And it just makes me sad and angry, I guess. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, maybe just cuz this morning I woke up feeling like that and I just started crying. That’s it, just stupid crying for no reason, when there are so many people that are going through a billion times more ‘trials and tribulations’ than I am. But sometimes, I’m just a lost cause. Know what I mean?
May 23, 2006
It’s nice out. But inside, it’s raining. Think I once heard that phrase somewhere, though I can’t remember who might have said it. Probably somebody famous though. A singer, I’ll bet. Sometimes I just think of the randomest things. “Randomest”? Where’d I come up with that one? It’s like, when you start getting really into other languages and all, your brain decides to play games with you and you start ‘forgetting’ some basic stuff about your ‘mother tongue’. It’s a riot, I know, to the big man upstairs, but honestly, I don’t find it very funny. You hear me? Not funny! I’m really crazy sometimes, I really am. But don’t be alarmed, I promise I’m harmless…for now. Ok, now I’m beginning to scare myself. So let’s move on, shall we?
May 24, 2006
Hey. I almost forgot to mention one more thing that just makes me sad every time I think about it. I went to karate training yesterday and I was just getting dressed like usual, listening to the conversations going on around me, and I heard my friend Vickie say to another woman: “Have a good workout.” And it made me so sad, I can’t even explain. But I’ll try to put it in context for you. You know those people who work long hours every day, same old job, lousy hours, bad pay, not many perks, practically no vacation time, and little or no opportunity for advancement? Well, Vickie, who works in the women’s locker room, has a job like that. Sure, it’s cool that she gets to talk to lots of different people (and let me tell you, she’s really good at that, a real sweet lady), but when it comes down to it, this one only wants her towel washed and that one just wants to say a few words to get revved up for her workout and so on and so forth. I do acknowledge that there are some who honestly enjoy having good conversations, but many people just put on these superficial smiles, say a few superficial friendly words (generic social phrases 101, anybody?), and waltz on out of there to do what ever it is that they came to do. And every time, good ole’ Vickie wishes them a ‘good workout’ and all. While she herself hardly ever gets the opportunity. And the worst part is that I know she would enjoy it. Maybe I should suggest that to the management. I mean, the idea that in addition to lunch break and all, all full-time Recreational employees should get another hour that’s designated as an official “Workout break”. Just cuz you know they’ve earned a good workout more than any of us. And for God’s sake, when you smile at someone, you should mean it. At least 99.9% of the time. I mean, c’mon, a smile means friendship, solidarity, hope, happiness, respect, and even love. And what good are these things if they’re superficial? Answer: no good! So just smile and be honest, why don’t you?
Sorry for the verbal onslaught, I just got on a roll. Anyway, I’ll be in touch. Take care.
Aaaaah, bad weather alert! Let’s listen in, shall we, as our friendly local weatherman explains it all and tries not to look nervous while doing so. Not as easy as it looks. But anyway, here he is: Should a tornado warning arise, be prepared to take shelter on the lowest floor possible of your home or other four-walled enclosure, away from windows, preferably under a heavy piece of furniture, and be sure to cover your head. Then pray like crazy. This just in: If you live in a mobile home, basically you’re screwed. My apologies. Please stay with us as we keep you updated on any new developments with respect to the storm system that’s passing through. Wait a second, it appears… Hey, well, now the screen just says ‘STATION DIFFICULTIES’ in big bold letters. Now doesn’t that give you a nice, warm feeling inside?
June 1, 2006
So much to do, and I just can’t seem to concentrate on anything. It’s like I’m paralyzed before I’ve even started to fight. You know what I mean? Hey, if you’re a good reader, maybe you could help me read some of the many interesting and exciting works that grace the countless pages of the list. You know, the LIST (of doom). I hope I don’t sound sarcastic because in this case, that would be an understatement. I should probably mention that it’s all in Spanish, though, so it might help to know a little of the lengua. But then again, when you’re desperate, you’re desperate. So how bout it? Sorry, you know I’m just playin’ with ya. Unless you were thinking about doing it for real, cuz in that case, my books are your books. Man, that was cheesy. Actually, I’ve been wondering how these expressions originated in the first place. I mean, who decided that stuff that’s not so cool (or that’s kind of stupid) could be described as “cheesy” or “corny”? What’s wrong with cheese or corn, for that matter? Why is being “corny” a bad thing? I mean, corn is a major food source for a great deal of humanity (including me!), so I think being “corny” should be a good thing. Hey, but maybe the “cheesy” one makes sense, now that I think about it. At least if you think of something that’s “cheesy” as being ‘over the top’, you know, too much of a good thing. Cuz a pizza with too much cheese also lends itself to being too much of a good thing. I mean, if the pizza’s too cheesy, it’s just gross. Grease dripping everywhere and big mounds of cheese that make the poor pizza grossly overweight, kind of like the majority of American society… and kind of scary, actually. But I think we must all be embarrassed to be scared of just a little bit of excess cheese, so we started saying (in a sarcastic, disinterested tone, of course): that’s just cheesy or that’s cheesy. And that’s how it all started. Hey, it’s possible.
Hi. It’s late. Or else I’m just really tired. But I think it actually is pretty late cuz I’m starting to get visions. Well, you know, just really strange double vision that gives these words a life of their own -- in the literal sense, because sometimes it seems that they’re in motion, fading in and out…ok, I admit it, maybe I should go to bed. But then again, it would be cool to have visions – the real kind, I mean, prophecies and the like. But while I’m thinking about it, how would you know if what you’re seeing is a vision/prophecy or just a type of hallucination/daydream or something of the sort, resulting from severe fatigue or sleep deprivation? I think I’ll sleep on that one.
Fri. May 12, 2006
Good morning! That’s a classic, it’s like the one phrase that everyone knows and uses --- and this holds true for other languages as well: Buenos dias. Boker tov. Bom dia. Guten morgen. Sabaah al-khayr. You get the point. I think it means that someone a long time ago decided that we should all wake up optimistic and start things off on the right foot (pardon the cliche). But as the day progresses, in English-speaking America we apparently lose some of this optimism after lunch and regain it again around dinner time. Maybe you’ll disagree with me, but I can’t remember the last time anyone told me “Good afternoon” in English. It just sounds formal and all, you know. So we just say ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ or ‘Hi. How are you?’ instead. But later on, the optimism magically returns! So it is with a smile that I bid you ‘Good night’ (at 7 in the morning). But no matter. Actually, I don’t see what’s wrong with wishing someone a good night when it’s not technically considered ‘night’ yet. What’s wrong with showing a little hope for the future (even if we’re only talking about a future just hours away)? I think I’ll start doing that on occasion…just to see what kind of reaction I get. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
Sat. May 13, 2006
It’s raining. Again. Just another one of those dreary days where everything’s gray outside and you just feel like renting a good movie, making some hot chocolate and snuggling up on the couch to watch it. Even if your dog is the only one you have to cuddle with…and I hate to say it, but man, he really needs a mint or something! And, oh no, here he comes again. Down, bud! Billie, get down! Ok, come here then. That’s good, good boy, hey, settle down now, there you go. Whoa, wait a second, I just got a nice whiff again and man that is amazing. Better not waste it on me, bud, save it for that special someone. Anyway, the rain just keeps washing the sky outside, falling like there’s no tomorrow, and I just keep watching the film and thinking about stuff. You know, philosophical kinds of stuff. Like what’s going to happen to the planet and the human race a thousand years from now (given the planet still exists), how it would be to meet someone like Martin Luther King, Jr., or to actually come face to face with God (at least in the figurative sense), why I was born, and if we’re really on Earth in the first place or just imagining it… you know, rainy days are great like that for inspiration.
Tues. May 16, 2006
Live for each other. That’s a great phrase. If you can believe it, it was actually attached to my teabag this morning, sort of a kind of morning inspirational thing. But it got me started thinking. It’s one of those great expressions that can be interpreted in so many different ways; that’s what makes it so cool, cuz it’s got a touch of the universal. Know what I mean? It’s like, you could think of it as pertaining to couples and ‘lovebirds’, or to the fact that we all (as in all of humanity) should ‘live for each other’. And it may refer to living our lives in a way that shows our love for each other (perhaps just by living them to the fullest), or then again, maybe it’s just trying to tell us not to commit suicide. I still think it’s a cool phrase though! By the way, apparently it’s already midnight again, so I think I’m gonna head to bed. You know, it just occurred to me that that’s actually a rather appropriate expression. If you take it literally, it actually makes sense: head to bed. Unless you’re one of those who prefers sleeping standing up or something, with no need for a bed. Weird, but possible. Well, anyway, it’s time to put that phrase in action so…good night!
Thurs. May 18, 2006
Good night! See, I did it, I’ve been wanting to try out that expression again -- in an anachronistic way, of course (i.e. in the morning or the afternoon!). I really hope you’re reading this during one of those times --- that would mean that I accomplished my purpose! Cuz when you’re writing (unless you’re using instant messages or something where you have dialogue that occurs in real-time), there’s really nothing wrong with me saying ‘it’s five o’clock in the morning’ even if it’s actually seven at night when I’m writing that. It’s normal, just a kind of literary freedom, I guess. But I want you to imagine that right now, we’re actually having a real, in person conversation. So just think of the ‘good night’ in that sense. I really hope it is morning or something where you are, cuz that would make it all more fun and meaningful. Or at least more unusual, in a good kind of way.
A few hours later, Thurs. May 18, 2006
Have you ever just sat and stared blankly at something, trying to focus but completely unable to see anything clearly. It’s like you’re there, but you’re not really there. Know what I mean? That’s what just happened with me and my computer screen and it was actually pretty hard to snap out of it and get myself to start writing again. But I managed to do it! But anyway, I wanted to ask you something. Have you ever had fresh, cold (perhaps I should say chilled) snap peas? Like for snack, or something – maybe with raw carrots, tomatoes, and dip? Cuz I had them for the second time last night at my friend’s house (the first time was at an Oneg after Friday night Shabbat services) and man, were they good! I think I dominated the fresh vegetable section of the snacks available for consumption at the gathering last night. That sounds funny. Oh well, it’s true so I stand by it. Well, to make a long story short, you should try them. End of discussion. See ya later.
May 21, 2006
Hola. ¿Cómo andas? That’s Spanish for Hi, how’s it going? (well, literally it means something like “Hi, how are you walking”? and it makes sense when you say it in Argentina, though in Costa Rica people just look at you like you’re nuts!). But it’s useful info, just in case we wind up getting a second national language someday, or in case you ever go to Miami or southern California, where no one speaks English anymore. It’s weird, but you know, that way you don’t actually have to visit Mexico to get a real taste of what the Hispanic culture is like. No sir, these days Mexico just comes to you! I’m just exaggerating, no offense intended, but there is a grain of truth in that, don’t you think? Anyway, I hope you had a good night and woke up this morning feeling fresh and rested. Cuz I know I didn’t, so I’m hoping I can feed off of your energy. Haha. That’s a good one, right? Like who actually gets enough sleep anymore, it’s like an impossible dream. Except for my friend Dov, he somehow manages to get around eight hours of sleep on a regular basis. And around exam time, then seven and a half. HOW does he do it, I want to know? That’s a talent I definitely don’t have and I bet you don’t either. So we’ve gotta work on it, ok? Deal? I say we try to increase our ‘sleep intake’ gradually, say, averaging 30 more minutes a night and making these 30 minute gains every two weeks or so – until we get up to about eight hours a night on average. Confused? Me too, but c’mon, how hard can it be? I’m averaging around six and a half hours of sleep right now (around five or six during the school year), so in about six weeks (if our plan works), I should be up to eight hours a night in the summer. But how can we make the plan effective? Gosh, that’s a toughie…think I’ll sleep on it. And I know it’s early, but I’m gonna go ahead and say it: Boa noite. Buenas noches. Good night. Now you’re trilingual! Congrats. Wanna keep going? Ok, fine by me. Layla tov. Tasbuh ala’ khayr. Satisfied? Good. See ya.
May 22, 2006
You ever feel that you don’t really belong anywhere? Like you’re just a ‘speck of dust’ in a universe in which nothing really has any meaning and nothing you do really makes a difference? (that’s the philosophy of Yair, the older brother in Knafayim Shvurot, until he has an epiphany and starts to actually live again --- it’s a great movie, like I said, so go see it, why don’t you? Anyway, the point is, I find myself feeling like that a lot. And it just makes me sad and angry, I guess. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, maybe just cuz this morning I woke up feeling like that and I just started crying. That’s it, just stupid crying for no reason, when there are so many people that are going through a billion times more ‘trials and tribulations’ than I am. But sometimes, I’m just a lost cause. Know what I mean?
May 23, 2006
It’s nice out. But inside, it’s raining. Think I once heard that phrase somewhere, though I can’t remember who might have said it. Probably somebody famous though. A singer, I’ll bet. Sometimes I just think of the randomest things. “Randomest”? Where’d I come up with that one? It’s like, when you start getting really into other languages and all, your brain decides to play games with you and you start ‘forgetting’ some basic stuff about your ‘mother tongue’. It’s a riot, I know, to the big man upstairs, but honestly, I don’t find it very funny. You hear me? Not funny! I’m really crazy sometimes, I really am. But don’t be alarmed, I promise I’m harmless…for now
May 24, 2006
Hey. I almost forgot to mention one more thing that just makes me sad every time I think about it. I went to karate training yesterday and I was just getting dressed like usual, listening to the conversations going on around me, and I heard my friend Vickie say to another woman: “Have a good workout.” And it made me so sad, I can’t even explain. But I’ll try to put it in context for you. You know those people who work long hours every day, same old job, lousy hours, bad pay, not many perks, practically no vacation time, and little or no opportunity for advancement? Well, Vickie, who works in the women’s locker room, has a job like that. Sure, it’s cool that she gets to talk to lots of different people (and let me tell you, she’s really good at that, a real sweet lady), but when it comes down to it, this one only wants her towel washed and that one just wants to say a few words to get revved up for her workout and so on and so forth. I do acknowledge that there are some who honestly enjoy having good conversations, but many people just put on these superficial smiles, say a few superficial friendly words (generic social phrases 101, anybody?), and waltz on out of there to do what ever it is that they came to do. And every time, good ole’ Vickie wishes them a ‘good workout’ and all. While she herself hardly ever gets the opportunity. And the worst part is that I know she would enjoy it. Maybe I should suggest that to the management. I mean, the idea that in addition to lunch break and all, all full-time Recreational employees should get another hour that’s designated as an official “Workout break”. Just cuz you know they’ve earned a good workout more than any of us. And for God’s sake, when you smile at someone, you should mean it. At least 99.9% of the time. I mean, c’mon, a smile means friendship, solidarity, hope, happiness, respect, and even love. And what good are these things if they’re superficial? Answer: no good! So just smile and be honest, why don’t you?
Sorry for the verbal onslaught, I just got on a roll. Anyway, I’ll be in touch. Take care.
Aaaaah, bad weather alert! Let’s listen in, shall we, as our friendly local weatherman explains it all and tries not to look nervous while doing so. Not as easy as it looks. But anyway, here he is: Should a tornado warning arise, be prepared to take shelter on the lowest floor possible of your home or other four-walled enclosure, away from windows, preferably under a heavy piece of furniture, and be sure to cover your head. Then pray like crazy. This just in: If you live in a mobile home, basically you’re screwed. My apologies. Please stay with us as we keep you updated on any new developments with respect to the storm system that’s passing through. Wait a second, it appears…
June 1, 2006
So much to do, and I just can’t seem to concentrate on anything. It’s like I’m paralyzed before I’ve even started to fight. You know what I mean? Hey, if you’re a good reader, maybe you could help me read some of the many interesting and exciting works that grace the countless pages of the list. You know, the LIST (of doom). I hope I don’t sound sarcastic because in this case, that would be an understatement. I should probably mention that it’s all in Spanish, though, so it might help to know a little of the lengua. But then again, when you’re desperate, you’re desperate. So how bout it? Sorry, you know I’m just playin’ with ya. Unless you were thinking about doing it for real, cuz in that case, my books are your books. Man, that was cheesy. Actually, I’ve been wondering how these expressions originated in the first place. I mean, who decided that stuff that’s not so cool (or that’s kind of stupid) could be described as “cheesy” or “corny”? What’s wrong with cheese or corn, for that matter? Why is being “corny” a bad thing? I mean, corn is a major food source for a great deal of humanity (including me!), so I think being “corny” should be a good thing. Hey, but maybe the “cheesy” one makes sense, now that I think about it. At least if you think of something that’s “cheesy” as being ‘over the top’, you know, too much of a good thing. Cuz a pizza with too much cheese also lends itself to being too much of a good thing. I mean, if the pizza’s too cheesy, it’s just gross. Grease dripping everywhere and big mounds of cheese that make the poor pizza grossly overweight, kind of like the majority of American society… and kind of scary, actually. But I think we must all be embarrassed to be scared of just a little bit of excess cheese, so we started saying (in a sarcastic, disinterested tone, of course): that’s just cheesy or that’s cheesy. And that’s how it all started. Hey, it’s possible.
“A New Day Rising” (the next major hit Indie song!...haha, a little self confidence never hurt anyone =)
As I wander slowly
Wondering when will come
The new day rising
All I know is all I have to give.
And dreams that swell within me
Emptiness inside
Surrounds a tired heart
And upturned eyes search for meaning.
(Chorus)
And why do I never seem
To find a way to hide
All these feelings revolving inside and I
Know I’ll never be the same as tomorrow
A new day rising.
Seeing, feeling, dreaming, time
Passes by silently
Never ending dreams of yesterday.
And tomorrows newly forming
Outside, the rain falls silently
Clouds of black inside my head.
(Chorus)
Keep rising the sun
Onwards to touch the sky
Memories and dreams
Etched in silver in your eyes.
And your eyes never leave me
Without a sense of hope
A new day rising.
I close my eyes and feel you near me.
I open my heart and you're with me.
Wondering when will come
The new day rising
All I know is all I have to give.
And dreams that swell within me
Emptiness inside
Surrounds a tired heart
And upturned eyes search for meaning.
(Chorus)
And why do I never seem
To find a way to hide
All these feelings revolving inside and I
Know I’ll never be the same as tomorrow
A new day rising.
Seeing, feeling, dreaming, time
Passes by silently
Never ending dreams of yesterday.
And tomorrows newly forming
Outside, the rain falls silently
Clouds of black inside my head.
(Chorus)
Keep rising the sun
Onwards to touch the sky
Memories and dreams
Etched in silver in your eyes.
And your eyes never leave me
Without a sense of hope
A new day rising.
I close my eyes and feel you near me.
I open my heart and you're with me.
"Where does the time go?"
Where does the time go? Rather, could it be that time is more like a river that flows on endlessly, forever trapped between the dawn and the sunset, never really here but yet never really gone either? It’s almost like the concept of space: ever-present but constantly changing, constantly evolving in its endless journey towards a destination unknown. And what about the idea of black holes, those unique space-time entities from which nothing (not even light) can escape? And can time actually evolve? How many “times” might exist at this very moment? According to Octavio Paz and others, in addition to the standard “time”, there exists a personal and/or subjective time, a time in which the normal laws governing time (rather, those laws generally accepted by the postmodern human society of the 21st century) cease to exist, a time in which one second can last for an eternity, a time uniquely shaped by the original experience of each individual. And what do we call the countless treasure holds of time that exist within our own collection of memories? Is this really time, or merely an echo of the passage of time? And with the advent of TiVo, it’s not too difficult to imagine a similar situation with respect to the real world, not just the world of television. I mean, if we can play back live events just milliseconds after they’ve happened, if everything that happens becomes recorded as past history almost instantaneously, doesn’t it just make you wonder when we’ll be able to “rewind” history (if just for a few minutes) to actually replay the recent birth of our first child or the first time we had mint chocolate chip ice cream. Then we can jump back into the normal stream of time and rejoin the rest of society, whose lives (as well as our own) are continuing to be played out in real-time.
Note: This was written in September 2005 and thus before the release of Adam Sandler’s movie Click.
Note: This was written in September 2005 and thus before the release of Adam Sandler’s movie Click.
"Another Day"
Silence. Laughter brea ks the Si lenc e. Empty sound. Falling. Rising,
e x p a n d i n g within. EXPLOSION. Br o ke n la u ght er. Meaningless thoughts.
Empty thoughts. Glazed emotions. Grief rising. Rising. hOt. Angry. grief. Empty
laughter. B ro ken s o un d. Pain. Silence. Another day.
Tears Laughter Death Lingering Shadows Empty Silence...
e x p a n d i n g within. EXPLOSION. Br o ke n la u ght er. Meaningless thoughts.
Empty thoughts. Glazed emotions. Grief rising. Rising. hOt. Angry. grief. Empty
laughter. B ro ken s o un d. Pain. Silence. Another day.
Tears Laughter Death Lingering Shadows Empty Silence...
Tell me...
Tell me...
have you seen the way the
sun slides
s l o w l y
down
the
water
f
a
ll
of endless sky...
or does the sky rise up
to hold her
g e n t l y
with the soft blanket of night?
have you seen the way the
sun slides
s l o w l y
down
the
water
f
a
ll
of endless sky...
or does the sky rise up
to hold her
g e n t l y
with the soft blanket of night?
Broken Hopes
broken hopes
s c a tt e r ed
in the night.
SILENCE
heartbeats fade away
into e m p t y space
s c a tt e r ed
in the night.
SILENCE
heartbeats fade away
into e m p t y space
Open Empty Spaces
Open empty spaces
calling out for words
a sound to fill
the angry void
inside me...
Angry, yet sad;
lonely, forgotten
heartbeats
POUND the silence.
Thoughts
swirling round
frozen edges of
old dreams and
icy, br oke n
frag ments
of love and hope
surrounded by
burning
frustration.
Dying in silence
my heart cries
out
to no one...
calling out for words
a sound to fill
the angry void
inside me...
Angry, yet sad;
lonely, forgotten
heartbeats
POUND the silence.
Thoughts
swirling round
frozen edges of
old dreams and
icy, br oke n
frag ments
of love and hope
surrounded by
burning
frustration.
Dying in silence
my heart cries
out
to no one...
Some old poetry from 2003-2005
"The Yellow Wall"
A yellow wall
blinks stony eyes
and smiles in red
crayon markings
at a lone face
and row of chairs.
A dirty yellow,
like leftover sun-
smeared clumps of
pasty tapioca dreams
s p l a t te r e d
on a wall.
A nauseous wall.
The yellow wall.
"Any Given Sunday"
Watching the endless swarms of people
rising early for Sunday salvation,
I wonder if the sleepy children even
begin to comprehend the truth hidden
beneath so many towering steeples
Reaching upwards towards a Heaven
unseen, unheard, yet ever present
in the hearts and minds of those who know.
The wise, the aged, the rather decrepit
followers of the good faith, though
Some believe the stairway to Heaven steep
and a bit long. An endless path to nowhere
we'll ever see, unless constant pressure
from holy sin brings down divine barriers --
so others might know Heaven through our eternal sleep.
"Imitation of Robert Frost"
The rain has just now ceased to fall
From high above the blue jays call
And I sleep soundly in my bed
As misty morning covers all.
The blue jays call; the sky blooms red
But I sleep soundly in my bed
As golden morning blossoms round
And spring emerges overhead.
The blue jays call o'er golden ground
But I, alas, hear not a sound
For in my bed, asleep, I lay
Me down, alas, hear not a sound.
The blue jays call as if to say
But why stay you in bed today
While red and golden is the day?
Asleep, alas, I cannot say!
-------------------------------
Sparkling water tastes
the fluffy marshmallow sky --
The bay bridge glistens.
-------------------------------
"Una gota de agua"
En una gota de agua
que se
d e s
l i
z a
l e n t e m e n t e
por la mejilla izquierda,
una
ETERNIDAD
de pena.
:
"A drop of water"
In one drop of water
that
s
l
i
p
s
s l o w l y
down the left cheek,
one
ETERNITY
of pain.
------------------------------
"Nosotros, los fantasmas"
(without proper accents etc. because apparently the system couldn't handle pasting this from Word...grrrrr!)
Quienes somos nosotros, los fantasmas, que
Habitamos en esta esfera solitaria?
Quienes eramos antes, quienes seremos
Despues de haberse acabado esta penosa
Procesion de dias, memorias y todo lo
Que suele llamarse la vida? Moriremos
Como nacimos: pequenos, frios, rodeados
Por dudas, temores y cuestiones. Todo se
Acaba en la muerte, aunque sea la nuestra o
La del mundo exterior. Sera la muerte asi
Como una vista del infinito, un nino
Perpetuo que juega, rie, llora y nos abraza?
:
"We, the Ghosts"
Who are we, the Ghosts, who
Inhabit this solitary sphere?
Who were we before, who will we be
After having ended this painful
Procession of days, memories, and all
That usually constitutes life. We will die
As we were born: small, cold, surrounded
By doubts, fears, and questions. Everything
Ends in death, whether ours or
That of the outside world. Will death thus
Resemble a view of the infinite, a perpetual
Child that plays, laughs, cries, and embraces us?
A yellow wall
blinks stony eyes
and smiles in red
crayon markings
at a lone face
and row of chairs.
A dirty yellow,
like leftover sun-
smeared clumps of
pasty tapioca dreams
s p l a t te r e d
on a wall.
A nauseous wall.
The yellow wall.
"Any Given Sunday"
Watching the endless swarms of people
rising early for Sunday salvation,
I wonder if the sleepy children even
begin to comprehend the truth hidden
beneath so many towering steeples
Reaching upwards towards a Heaven
unseen, unheard, yet ever present
in the hearts and minds of those who know.
The wise, the aged, the rather decrepit
followers of the good faith, though
Some believe the stairway to Heaven steep
and a bit long. An endless path to nowhere
we'll ever see, unless constant pressure
from holy sin brings down divine barriers --
so others might know Heaven through our eternal sleep.
"Imitation of Robert Frost"
The rain has just now ceased to fall
From high above the blue jays call
And I sleep soundly in my bed
As misty morning covers all.
The blue jays call; the sky blooms red
But I sleep soundly in my bed
As golden morning blossoms round
And spring emerges overhead.
The blue jays call o'er golden ground
But I, alas, hear not a sound
For in my bed, asleep, I lay
Me down, alas, hear not a sound.
The blue jays call as if to say
But why stay you in bed today
While red and golden is the day?
Asleep, alas, I cannot say!
-------------------------------
Sparkling water tastes
the fluffy marshmallow sky --
The bay bridge glistens.
-------------------------------
"Una gota de agua"
En una gota de agua
que se
d e s
l i
z a
l e n t e m e n t e
por la mejilla izquierda,
una
ETERNIDAD
de pena.
"A drop of water"
In one drop of water
that
s
l
i
p
s
s l o w l y
down the left cheek,
one
ETERNITY
of pain.
------------------------------
"Nosotros, los fantasmas"
(without proper accents etc. because apparently the system couldn't handle pasting this from Word...grrrrr!)
Quienes somos nosotros, los fantasmas, que
Habitamos en esta esfera solitaria?
Quienes eramos antes, quienes seremos
Despues de haberse acabado esta penosa
Procesion de dias, memorias y todo lo
Que suele llamarse la vida? Moriremos
Como nacimos: pequenos, frios, rodeados
Por dudas, temores y cuestiones. Todo se
Acaba en la muerte, aunque sea la nuestra o
La del mundo exterior. Sera la muerte asi
Como una vista del infinito, un nino
Perpetuo que juega, rie, llora y nos abraza?
"We, the Ghosts"
Who are we, the Ghosts, who
Inhabit this solitary sphere?
Who were we before, who will we be
After having ended this painful
Procession of days, memories, and all
That usually constitutes life. We will die
As we were born: small, cold, surrounded
By doubts, fears, and questions. Everything
Ends in death, whether ours or
That of the outside world. Will death thus
Resemble a view of the infinite, a perpetual
Child that plays, laughs, cries, and embraces us?
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