Sometimes

It is not my intention to bring anyone down on my blog, so I'll warn you that the subject matter is not pretty. It will not hurt my feelings in the least if you decide to skip this post and move on to my next one, a positive one. And I've learned that if you can end things on a positive note (like my next post and the end of this one!), then things will always look up. The sun is only that much brighter and more beautiful after a particularly dark night.

Over the past year and a half, I've posted 3 different poems like this...then taken them all down later :P I smile about it, because what else is there to do? But this one, I'm putting back up, just because it's the most current and sometimes, I just need to express my feelings. I've found that writing is a great outlet when there is no other outlet available, and it is better to get things out than to keep holding them inside. By looking them in the face, you can get past them and see what you have to do and how to make it all better. Relatively speaking, at least.


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"Sometimes"

Sometimes, I wished you would hit me.
Or her.
Anything to leave a mark, undeniable, a tribute to the pain.
Inside, my heart long broken,
My soul cries, but no one knows.
Or those that do say nothing.
I cry alone to face the silent pain.

Screams and words that kill,
Spit foaming, unseeing eyes;
This person I do not know
And soon he goes...but not forever.
Invisible scars run deep,
I've seen and felt their damage;
For her too you left no mark.
The tears, time lost, deep hurt and
Pain, these can always be explained away, but
They hurt as much as fire.

It is harder to face what you cannot see,
To heal yourself alone.
A child cries, for what she's seen and felt,
Both witness and little f*ck herself,
A worthless piece of shit with feelings
That have broken many times before.

To end this poem, I won't be harsh,
As no one is perfect in this world.
With time you've calmed,
Your heart has grown,
Yet still you sometimes lose control.
I know you try and care so much,
But it means nothing if you also strike the heart.
Words have the power to heal and love,
So please love yourself, love others, and trust.
Inside you have so much to give, so just let it go,
Whatever the 'it' is.